Blind spots dating
I suggest the date spot, somewhere public and familiar and often in my neighborhood. I give my date’s name a quick Google to make sure nothing weird pops up in the first page or two of hits. But until then, I’ll keep my girlfriends with me in my group chat.""I found myself unexpectedly single at the beginning of 2017.
This meant that I was thrown back into the dating shark tank as Donald Trump was being sworn in as president. Still, when I add up all the dates I’ve been on this year, including the good ones, what I remember is: The casual racism, the constant interruptions, the arrogance, the insistence that he knows best about literally anything and everything.
Who knows if things will work out, but for what its worth, dating in the post-Weinstein era has shown me that vulnerability is key and if a guy condones or diminishes any of your prior sexual assaults or harassments, he’s not worth your time.""My reckoning began with the 'Shitty Media Men' list.
While I never saw the actual list myself, as a woman in the media, I knew of men at all levels who were harassers/assaulters/rapists.
And yet, I feel trapped because I have no alternative way to try to get to know someone to become a potential partner. We were talking about Matt Lauer and he said something along the lines of 'that stuff's inexcusable, but why didn't the women come forward years ago when it happened?As if finding strangers to fall in love with on the internet wasn’t already a virtual minefield, now, misogyny and racism disguised as patriotism were new lenses through which I had to sort potential suitors. A date recently asked me 'where I was from' after telling me I had 'an exotic look.' When this kind of nonsense happens I cut it off right at the head.As a Black woman who is open to dating any race or religion, I felt incredibly vulnerable. In response to this dude, I just went silent, too angry to even engage.I met a man a few months ago who works in the media.I loved that we could relate on work matters, but I knew all too well about the industry's thinly-veiled secret culture of misogyny. That made me feel a type of comfort I'd never felt before; I felt safe confiding in him about my own assault when I was 19.