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I'd been party to a couple of rounds of D&D in high school because the dungeon master smoked us out and bought us beer, but 15-plus years later I couldn't even begin to tell you what to do with a 12-sided die.So when I heard about the Red Light Center, "the world's only FREE Massively Multiplayer, Adult Virtual World," I was cautiously optimistic.

After multiple failed connections, lil_meg was ready to blow. Despite the technical failures, I was encouraged by my encounter and returned to the "Welcome Tower" to see if I could find a willing member. As I waited for a response, the cold reality of rejection began to set in.I'd come across Red Light Center during my "first-hand quest for the future of sex." The adult massively multiple online role-playing game is an interactive world akin to the SIMs that allows players to interact with each other using teledildonics.It's been decades since I've played video games with any regularity, but a video game you can stick your dick in? Red Light Center boasts virtual worlds for furries, gays, public sex, BDSM, even high-class call girls. I could and would have sex with all the people, maybe even that cat-woman hybrid thing I'd seen in the advertisement.After about two hours of prep, I assumed I was ready for any and all of the digital dicks.As I would come to find out, though, getting laid, even in a virtual fantasyland, isn't as easy as just showing up.

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